I Said We’d Never Hire a College Admissions Adviser. Then We Did.

A fun article in the NYTimes about a mother who always swore she would never hire a college advisor then ended up hiring one. A lesson in never saying "never." The writer highlights the less obvious reasons why parents might want to hire help: a third party pushes and prods and questions the student, allowing the parents to play the role of support as opposed to nagging adversary. An adviser can hear the student objectively, talk to him objectively, and offer a new and better informed perspective.

See the article here.

Choosing the Right Tutor or Consultant

I've been back on the private teacher market as a student these days. I'm studying Chinese, as you may know, and I've been talking to a few teachers who have been recommended to me. I haven't been on this side of the private exchange for a long time, and the process has been enlightening. A lot of the below have seemed intuitive and necessary to me for a long time, but seeing other teachers out there has made me realize that not everyone approaches students the same way, and many consultants and tutors are less professional than they should be.

So to help out any fellow learners or applicants looking around, here are a few pointers for students on what to be aware of during that very first consultation with a potential teacher:

The consultant should always ask you about your goals, experience, and expectations. After all, the meeting is about you and helping you get the most of your time and money. If she does not ask you what you want and how you want it, see that as a red flag. 

However, as much as the consultant wants to hear about you, she must be able to respond to your expectations and goals in kind. Are they reasonable expectations? Attainable goals? Does the consultant think, honestly and realistically, that she can help you, and if so, how? If she has enough experience and expertise, she will be able to concisely and confidently answer these questions. She should also be busy enough (and smart enough) to turn down your business if she is not right for you. 

During your first meeting, the consultant should listen as well as speak. If you feel you are leading the conversation, that is a bad sign. However, if the consultant is rambling on and on, that is also not good. The meeting should be a dialogue. The consultant needs to take the lead and ask the right questions but also give enough content and response. You should feel as though you're the topic and the center of attention.  

Do a little work together. Bring some material. Is it a language class? Have a quick conversation and see how the teacher responds. I did this with a Chinese teacher recently and noticed that she focused on my sentence structure and vocabulary, but she never once commented on my pronunciation or tones. Let me assure you: this is not because my pronunciation and tones are pitch perfect. Needless to say, I was a bit wary of that teacher.  

If you are looking to study English writing or work on an application essay, bring a short piece of writing. Ask for the consultant's initial reaction to the piece. Does she focus only on theme? Grammar? Content? Length? Word choice? Fit for that university? Make sure that you're getting the consultant who either knows it all and can help you in every way, or at least make sure the consultant can focus on your weakness.  

Note: in order to find the best consultant or teacher, know the field, and also know what your own weaknesses are. Know yourself and what kind of help you need, before finding someone to help you.  

Finally, ask the consultant how a typical lesson or session goes with other students of hers. If she has a structure and a systematic approach, rest assured you've found a professional. If not, then keep your wallet tightly closed.  

Speaking of wallets, always be up front about money from the get go. Ask for references if you want to check, and make sure the price is consistent and fair. Always ask about discounts as well. If you lower transportation time for the teacher, if you do one longer session instead of multiple shorter sessions, if you do a group lesson, if you refer a friend, etc. you may be able to book yourself a lower rate. The most expensive consultant is not always the best, but at the same time, a well qualified professional will know her worth and stick to it. 

Happy hunting and good luck with all your learning adventures!  

Stereotypes & History

I spent some time in Beijing, China's capital city, this month. Mostly sightseeing, but also meeting some friends, eating a lot of great food, and doing some work on my book.

Throughout the trip, people would often ask where we were from, and we'd say, of course, Shanghai. Often a topic of conversation would be the differences between people from the north and the south. Apparently, people from the north are more open, simple people, who love to engage with community in an honest and collegial way, enjoying a good drink now and again. Southerners are more socially discerning, paying careful attention to detail and maintaining tact and sensibility in relationships. At least this is what we were told by northerners. :)

These conversations got me thinking about stereotypes, and specifically, location-based stereotypes. It is possible to dig deeper and ask why different regions - with their separate histories, challenges, and terrain - create different people. Shanghai's mercantile history and port city location have shaped the people in the city. Beijing's political history and location bordering northern powers have shaped BJers as well. 

There are many ways in which we are shaped by where we live. Personalities are as much a product of huge communities like our country, our generation, and our cities. On a smaller level, we live in a neighborhood, with certain people, speaking a certain lingo with a select group of friends. We are also born with traits and personalities that are shaped by our environments, at times the two coming into conflict.

If you want to write about where you come from, or a community you are a part of, one way into that question can be to think about the stereotypes and expectations you or others have about the place or the group. How am I an American, what does that mean, and how am I different than the norm, or the stereotype? Why? How am I a typical younger sister, and how does my relationship differ from the norm? Pry open the layers of your identity, and take a good look at how they follow the norm, as well as diverge.

Whenever I post a prompt-type post, I'll tag it "prompt." See more in the Search section of this website or click on the tag below.  

Big Data, Big Deal

Sometimes articles come out about the differences in admissions between schools that try to make mountains out of molehills. This article is one of them. Apparently, using big data, a website has identified the specific words that Harvard and Stanford like to see in application essays. For example, using "mom" and "dad" is better for Stanford, and "mother" and "father" are better for Harvard. 

First of all, I doubt there is a very significant difference between the acceptance rates based on these words. I don't know what it is, but I can't imagine there is such a stark difference, where words are exclusively favored by one school over the other. Secondly, I just don't think this micro-level of trying to game the system is worth anyone's time! Instead of focusing on the slight advantage one word can give you over the other, focus on the content of the essay at large. I know big data is trendy these days. But in this case, the quality of an essay is still much more important than the quantity of keywords you use. 

Don't waste your time on sensational drivel. Read good books, be a good person, and do what's important to you - that's what will make you stand apart.

Social Media

You know I'm already an old hag by the way I'll talk about social media. I'm not far from those people who call Facebook "THE FACEBOOK." 

I didn't grow up with SMS. FB came out when I was in college, thank god, so I didn't have the distractions young people have today. On top of that, you have Facebook for photos (Instagram) and Facebook for naughty photos (Snapchat), and who knows what else. For my generation, everything is a reference to the original. 

If I could raise kids without FB (and other facebooks) without them hating me for life, I might try to do so. It's like growing up in a big city within a big city within a city. Crowded, noisy, polluted, competitive. But alas, the world it what it is. Not so dissimilar to college admissions. 

And now I've found out that colleges are using SMS to determine whether you're likely to attend and stay at their college. So beware - on all your facebooks and all your feeds and all your messages - try to keep the college talk out of it. You never know who is going to sell the data and help someone use it for or against you.